Fibromyalgia sucks.

Well, it does! I rarely have enough 'spoons', I hurt everywhere, all the time, and I feel absolutely, completely, useless. I take dance classes twice a week. Tap & jazz on Tuesdays, and ballet on Saturdays. I do this because all my doctors have told me that if I don't move around, I'll stop being able to. So, I'm sitting here agonizing over not going tomorrow. I really don't feel well, and it seems like I've gone non-stop for close to three months. Living 42 miles away from work, church, and dance is really taking a serious toll on my health. I don't know what to do about it, though. I don't want to have to go through the experience of finding another church, that I know for sure, and the dance studio has been a part of my life (in one way or another) since I was three years old. Work is a similar issue - I love my job, and it pays me well. I could find another job closer to home, but what if I hate it? What if they don't understand when I have to stay home because Aislann is sick? What if I can't take enough time off to take care of my health? At least here, I work a 35-hour week, I get paid well, and I get 20 days off per year, not counting the 14 holidays we get - that's more than a month off!
So, I'm exhausted, and I'm feeling guilty about not going to a dance class that I pay to go to. Mostly because I'm always worried about what everyone else thinks. I know they don't get my illness, even though I've tried to explain it to them more than once. My ballet teacher came up behind me last week and drummed her fists on my back to get my attention... Not that she meant to hurt me, but you would think that after my explaining that everything hurts all the time that maybe she would think twice before doing something like that to me? So, I know that if I stay home tomorrow, I'm going to get all kinds of questions on Tuesday, and when I say, "I really didn't feel well", someone will inevitably ask, "did you have some kind of bug?". And when I again explain that, "no, I have fibromyalgia", I will get questions of, "what's that?".
Ugh.